Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

13
Apr

This Week on 24 (04/12 Edition)

   Posted by: Nicholas Tags: ,

This week’s episode got me real excited about 24 again for two reasons. First reason? A prediction I made back in January came true! Just like all the wishes I ever made. Except this is a million times more important than “Peace on Earth” because it’s about TELEVISION.

Anyway, I was totally right, Chloe became the new Director of CTU. They’re saying it’s only until a replacement is found. Hah! With all the bad stuff that’s inevitably going to happen no replacement will be showing up.

Second reason? Ex-President Charles Logan is back. I remember thinking right before the episode started “Hey, I read somewhere Logan’s supposed to be in this season. Where is that goofball!?” Then the goofball showed up! What I am saying, is that I can predict the future. I am magic.

Anyway, Logan’s back because President Taylor needs help convincing the evil Russians to support the peace treaty this whole season has been about. Since Logan used-to-be/is-evil, he’s got plenty of friends in evil Russia and wants to use his knowledge to help get them back on board with Taylor’s treaty. She doesn’t trust him because he keeps making really sinister faces at her. This is different from the remorseful, bearded Charles Logan we saw a few seasons back. He needs that beard! The nutrients its whiskers were absorbing from the sun light were the only thing keeping him sane.

Wait, why do the evil Russians want to stop supporting the peace treaty? Well, there’s the reason they give President Taylor and the real reason. The reason they give is that they don’t support replacing the now dead fake-Iran President with his fake-Iran Wife as the new fake-Iran President. And honestly, if your relatives take over after you die, can you really call yourself a fake-any-country President?

BUT! There’s also the REAL reason they don’t like the peace treaty, and that’s because they never did! HAH! Another great twist! Evil Russia has been the people because the terrorist attacks this whole time.

If only there was some sort of clue that evil Russia was going to be the bad guys. Sigh.

Anyway, the evil Russian gets a call on his iPhone (Remember when people used to pretend they could predict who was a traitor based on whether they used an Apple or PC computer? Ha!) It’s his assassin! Turns out the assassin thinks Renee, Jack’s current fling, recognized him from her time undercover with the Russian mob. Well, the assassin follows them home. Watches them have sex at 8:00 AM. Then shoots Renee.

Renee’s been through a lot since last season. She’s violated all her beliefs and tortured people for information, she lost her job, she was raped and beaten by a Russian mobster, and she was just running around and getting shot at all night. So, after getting a short time of happiness with Jack, the writers of 24 mercifully let her die quick and painlessly.

Oh no wait. Actually she dies slowly and in a great deal of pain. While naked! At least Jack now has a reason to stick around and finish the season.

The reason: revenge!

Twenty-foursight: A women fake-Iran President? Fake-Iran is a lot more liberal than real Iran.

6
Apr

This Week on 24 (04/05 Edition)

   Posted by: Nicholas Tags: ,

We got a big episode this week! Two whole uninterrupted hours of Jack driving while talking on his Bluetooth headset.

First off, no bomb went off this episode. Whew. This is thanks to the two dudes working for President Taylor who were going against her orders. She was all like “we don’t give into terrorist demands and besides the dude they want us to give up is kind of nice” while they were all like “yeah, but nuclear bomb”. Both arguments were pretty sound.

24 isn’t a stranger to presidents refusing to give into terrorist demands. To my knowledge, only President Palmer ever gave in, but that was to buy Jack time to fly in on a jet pack and karate chop a dude’s head off. Or maybe for some other reason. Honestly, after eight seasons I’m lucky to even remember President Palmer’s name.

So the two dudes betray President Taylor and give the terrorists who they want, the Fake-Iran President. Last episode they sent some mercenaries to kidnap him from his bodyguards. This episode, realizing a bunch of people are going to die if he doesn’t, Fake-Iran President does the noble thing and goes with the mercenary.

Then a bunch of stuff happens and Fake-Iran President is killed live on “the internet”. The villains of 24 are always broadcasting their evil deeds live on the internet, like they’re just so certain everyone can’t wait to watch their Ustream. I like to pretend they’ve got nothing but a sad YouTube channel with no more than a few comments from their mothers.

Jack is really good at knowing when there is a spy at CTU (it’s happened so many times he can just FEEL IT now). So he gets his BFF Chloe to look at a cell phone and find out who it last called. Because that person is the spy! Us viewers already know who the spy is so Chloe looks at some papers, which I suppose a viewer mailed her, and tells everyone else.

The spy is Starbuck! There is a chase, some gun shots, and then Starbucks fiance looks like he’s going to shoot her in the face but changes his mind.

Meanwhile, because the terrorists got Fake-Iran President they decide to give up the bomb. They had to, because that’s what they said they’d do. Terrorists are bound by their word. Also, if you can guess their name, a terrorist will grant you a wish.

Anyway, one of the mercenaries is left with the bomb awaiting the bomb squad. You know he’s going to be shot and the bomb will be stolen next episode because we are only two thirds through the season. I bet its going to be by the new enemy! Someone who has been pulling the strings all along and everything is now going exactly according to plan. 24 has never (NEVER) done something like that before. Can’t wait.

Anyway, Jack is all like “hey, I’ve done everything I said I was going to do, I should probably be heading back to my family now,” but then Starbuck says the only person she’ll talk to about her spy-antics is him. Thus, keeping Jack in the show for the rest of the season. Nice job, Starbuck.

Twenty-foresight: I’ve been totally desensitized to the threat of a nuclear bomb.

18
Jan

The 24 Drinking Game

   Posted by: Nicholas Tags: , , ,

Watching 24? Want to get good and blasted? Play the 24 drinking game.

Take a drink every time…
Jack tries to get out but the job pulls him back in.
Chloe looks constipated.
Someone at C.T.U. takes a personal call.
Jack yells “Where are/is the ?!”
Jack calls Chloe on the phone.
Someone looks shocked after hearing Jack’s name.
Jack has to run from law enforcement.
Someone at C.T.U. is suspicious of someone else at C.T.U.
The person in charge is making the wrong decisions.
Chloe breaks the rules.

Finish your drink when…
Someone takes over as the new director of C.T.U.
The person who looked like a traitor actually wasn’t.
Jack tortures someone.
An assassination is successful.
Someone goes undercover.

Take a shot when…
A nuclear bomb goes off.
Jack dies only to be resuscitated.
Chloe kills someone.
Aaron Pierce shows up, being awesome (meaning, whenever Aaron Pierce shows up).

Aaron Pierce

Aaron Pierce makes everything better. Even 24.

Also, I’m calling it. This year, Chloe is going to become the new Director of C.T.U.

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