A photograph of the stars, who according to astrology, tend to think the worst of a person.
If you’re anything like me, you’re constantly wondering how big of a jerk the stars think you are. Yes, those balls of burning gas who strut about the night sky decide who is hip and who isn’t, I can’t help but wonder what they think of me. Do they like how I dress? Are they going to invite me to their birthday party? Do you think they realized that poem I read for class was secretly about them?
Oh god oh god oh god oh god!! So nervous!! Because I can use a website to know exactly how the stars feel about me. I’m not gonna get me hopes up… BUT THIS IS GOING TO BE SOOOO GREAT!!!
Ok. Let’s do this.
First I have to answer some questions… let’s see here… my name? Heh heh, yeah I guess you guys wouldn’t know that. That’s ok. I have a face most people can remember. I’ve been told this many times. My gender? Hahahaha… ha… you guuuys! Oh my gosh, my birth date? You want to know? OK. I’ll tell youBUTYOUDON’THAVETOGETMEANYTHING. … I mean it’s justIFYOUJUSTREMEMBEREDWOULDBEGIFTENOUGH!!… Time of birth? Uhm… I don’t know that… do… do you hate me? Not necessary information, ok! Ok! That’s good!! Heh heh. Birthplace? Charlottesville, Virginia. That’s also the birthplace of Thomas Jefferson our third presiden– oh you’re not listening, you’re already loading the next page in the browser. That’s cool, I’ll just tell you about that later.
Whew, this is so exciting. I finally get to know what you stars think about me. Let’s take a looksy…
“He is independent, autonomous, emancipated and has progressive ideas.”
Behold! Our opinions!
Heh! WELL, I have been known to start a good debate in history class, nice to see you noticed.
“He has high social ambitions, respects justice and the law. He is tolerant, optimistic, kindly. He has every chance for professional success in a strictly legal setting.”
Mother always said not to cause a fuss, after all. “Keep your head down but don’t make any enemies either!” That’s what she’d always say!
“He has a tendency to bad dreams. Possibly has romantic phantasies. Is interested in the occult.”
Wha–? But I was only in that Hot Topic those two times you saw me! The first time was to buy what I thought was a really great Digimon T-Shirt but then I realized it was ironic and returned it for store credit the second time. It’s just a big misunderstanding.
“Weaknesses: argumentative, bickering and eccentric.”
I AM NO– Heheh… carry on.
“Weaknesses: hard, unforgiving, rigorous, insensitive and sometimes inhuman. A limited and narrow mind.”
Are you talking about that one time I brought the class’s test average up too high for Mrs. Kingston to apply the curve? I thought everyone was studying for it as hard as I was! It’s not fair…
“His independence does not tolerate marriage very well. If he does marry, he has little chance of finishing his days with the spouse, unless the partner gives him complete freedom and accepts his unfaithfulness.”
Wha– My goodness! I have always been a one woman man. Sometimes that woman was even fictional. Stars, I think you may have me confused for that Harrison boy in our homeroom. He is the loose one amongst our fairer sex.
“Great sexual activity.”
Jeez, what a clique, huh?
“Weak point: the kidneys.”
You learned that first hand last year when you stars tousled me roughly for my one of a kind sonic screwdriver I got for my birthday. Oh, you don’t remember that? Huh.
There’s a lot more you’re saying, stars. I can’t keep up exactly. You know… you know what? I’m going to have to come back to you. You guys seem to be a bit of a, pardon my French, Judgmental July.
Tags: astrology, stars