Guys.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

Are you reading Dawn of Time? It’s this great web comic that takes place in, well, dinosaur-times. It’s great! It has dinosaurs, cave ladies, pirates, time travelers with snazzy hats, mermaids, and a nice pacing and look that makes sure the comic is always FUN.

The comic doesn’t take itself too seriously. Though it is still pretty young by webcomic standards I doubt there will be a story line where things suddenly get serious. You know, maybe characters start to date, maybe they have to save the world, maybe it gets preachy…

Nah, none of that. Dinosaurs.

Dis?...

Last night I got to see RiffTrax Live in theaters. It was great! Easily the best possible way for me to spent two hours sitting on my butt.

Laugh out loud hilarious. The dudes (whom, if you are not aware all all former writers and performers of the nerd-legendary Mystery Science Theater 3000) can put on a great show.

They still got the chops.

Not only has the live viewing of a RiffTrax performance made me want to pick up some of the commentaries they offer on their website but it has given me some serious cravings for old editions of Mystery Science Theater. I remember stumbling upon that show (everyone who has watched it seems to have found it by accident, like a secret door to a land where no body thinks talking during movies is rude) in fourth grade and loved every second.

I love the idea of being in space. I loved the idea of watching bad movies and making fun of them. I loved the idea of snarky robots.

I LOVED the idea of snarky robots.

There were times when I would try to convince my friends to purposesly rent bad movies so we could make fun of them, MST3K-style! We even watched the dang theatrical movie during a sleep over birthday part of mine.

Hey folks, those who have been following me on Twitter might have already heard but to the rest I’d just want to say that we are FINALLY CAUGHT UP.

Yep, after MONTHS spent making up for MONTHS of missed work Dan and I have finally finished every missed update and now are back on schedule (new comic every Tuesday and Thursday).

I am currently working to update the site into something a bit more pleasing to the eye (those judgmental eyes!) and, of course, drawing a butt load of comics.

A butt load = about four.

I went to the movies and I paid nine dollars to walk into a room where I knew “G-Force” would be playing on a large screen. I stayed in that room till the movie, which was the Jerry Bruckheimer film “G-Force”, was done playing.

I paid attention the entire time.

I did all of these things under no illusion or trickery. I was of my own free will. No professional or personal gain outside of watching the movie: “G-Force”, or “Fuerza G” as it is known in Peru.

I should not have to explain why I did this.

Stop asking why I saw this movie.

The movie featured talking guinea pigs, hamsters, moles, mice and dancing cockroaches. High tech coffee machines trying to kill people also played a big part in the film as well but the emotionally charged characters were where the film really sparkled.

The love triangle was a constant drama magnet there to entice and impassion the audience (I saw many girls in the theater wearing “Team Darwin” and “Team Blaster” t-shirts in support of who they felt the better choice was).

“G-Force”, a movie with CGI rodents which I watched, refreshingly never gave the audience a clear answer and the triangle remained (perhaps in preparation of a sequel?).

In the end, “G-Force” is about the duality of man. Every character is put the the ringer as they deal with their own parallel selves.

1. Darwin was an elite secret agent who has to deal with the responsibility of a family he never was ready for.
2. Juarez has to juggle her professional career as well as her romantic life.
3. Blaster is a guinea pig and a black guy.

I saw this movie with my eye balls. It is forever in my memory. What’s the big deal?

Finally, in an expertly crafted feat of meta-fiction the movie proves you too are dealing with dual lives as you are a 23 year old male with no mental problems as well as a person watching “G-Force”.

I saw “G-Force”.

If you are anything like me (pale, un-athletic, afraid of lawnmowers) then summer is not YOUR THING. But don’t worry, I’m an old pro at spending 3 months of the year in the basement, hiding from omnipotent balls of fire in the sky. I’ve got your back.

This is the age of Internet entertainment, given to you by the handfuls for free. So naturally the ol’ laptop has some excellent way to distract you from bug bites and sun poisoning.

My newest addiction and current favorite is Web Drifter a show by Martin Sargent. Martin’s a dude I immediately recognized from G4 a couple years ago, when he did a late night talk show (Unscrewed) in the vein of Howard Stern except focused entirely on the Internet. The show was funny, hilarious, original, and (some research has told me) promptly canceled.

Unscrewed, you were too good for us.

Anyway, Web Drifter at this moment looks to be canceled as well (season two was supposed to have started in the fall of 2008, ouch). But all the old episodes are still available and it is still really good entertainment. Watch, avoid the bright lights of summer, and pray for Martin to rise again like the stubborn phoenix he is.

He only wants to make us smile. Why do we bite the Internet-mouth that Internet-feeds?!