Avengers #500

The cover to Avengers (Vol 1) #500
Sometimes Iron Man liked to use Yellow Jacket to kick off with.
From Series: The Avengers

What Happened:

Woof, what a day.

Sure, several of their friends died. A lot of there lives were destroyed. They were betrayed by some of the people they were closest with. Some of their greatest personal fears came true in their own actions. Yet, if we were to really nail down the worst thing to happen to the Avengers on this day it would be Hawkeye’s (Clint Barton) kitchen table sex talk.

Woof.

Let’s get to the actual mayhem of the day. Ant-Man (Scott Lang), The Wasp (Janet Van Dyne), She-Hulk (Jennifer Walters), Captain Britain (Kelsey Leigh), Jarvis, and Hawkeye have their gross conversation interrupted by Jack Of Hearts (Jonathan Hart). Well, a zombie of Jack Of Hearts. Since Jack Of Hearts died a few issues back. I suppose he doesn’t have to be a zombie. He could be a naked mummy? I don’t really know why I’m assuming he’s a zombie just because he’s all shamble-y and dried out. Plus he does some pretty un-zombie like actions such as apologize for blowing up and then blowing up. This is the day’s first explosion.

Jack Of Hearts explosion kills Ant-Man who tried to reason with the zombie. Never open the lines of communication with zombies. What do you hope to accomplish? Change its mind about being a zombie? They. Are. Set. In. Their. Ways.

While all this is happening, Iron Man (Tony Stark) is giving a big fancy speech to the United Nations. There, he starts having all the symptoms of being drunk.

Symptoms of being drunk:

  • Being sweaty
  • Being a jerk

Yellow Jacket (Hank Pym) and Black Panther (T’Challa) stop Iron Man from blowing up a representative of a country he dislikes. Before anyone can get too mad at Iron Man, Captain America (Steve Rogers) receives the distress call from Avengers mansion about the zombie and the explosion. While everyone heads out, Iron Man confesses to Scarlett Witch (Wanda Maximoff) about feeling drunk. Scarlet Witch’s face is shrouded in darkness the whole time. Who knows what that could mean? It’s probably nothing! Maybe the artist was having one of those “I JUST CAN’T DRAW ANOTHER FACE TODAY” days?

Everyone arrives at the mansion in time for The Vision to fly a quinjet into it. This is the day’s second explosion. Vision comes out of the burning wreckage and tells the Avengers he is not in control of his own actions. He then turns into a puddle and vomits up some metal spheres.

Additional symptoms of being drunk:

  • Turning into puddle
  • Vomiting metal spheres

The spheres all turn into Ultron robots and the team leaps into battle defeating them… pretty easily. She-Hulk starts to go berserk during the battle and can’t calm down from her battle rage. In that rage she tears the remains of The Vision’s robotic body down the middle and then attacks Captain America.

Meanwhile, two mysterious people have a conversation in the dark.

What I Learned From This Issue:
Saying “Sorry, my bad” doesn’t get you off the hook from tidying after the metal balls you threw up.

Creators:
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Pencils: David Finch
Inker: Danny Miki
Colourist: Frank D’armata
Letterers: Albert Deschesne, Richard Starkings
Editors: Nicole Wiley, Andy Schmidt, Tom Brevoort
Editor-in-Chief: Joe Quesada

Mister Fantastic’s Self Loathing – Fantastic Four (Vol 1) #500

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 1) #500
Well, you don’t look a day over 400.
What Happened:

WEBSITE NOTE: This is the first issue of Fantastic Four (Vol 3)’s returning to its original Vol 1 numbering. Since it is also the concluding issue to a Vol 3 story line this issue is listed as both a Vol 1 and Vol 3 series.

From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 1)

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) has been captured by a magically souped up Doctor Doom (Victor Von Doom). Reed’s been given a chance to fight back by being locked in Doom’s library of magic texts. The challenge is for Reed to figure a way out of his magical prison by learning some magic from Doom’s archive of knowledge. It’s all an effort to humiliate Reed, who despite being a super genius, knows nothing about magic. He tries anyway though. Doom has sent his son Franklin to Hell, currently has his daughter Valeria, and is torturing the rest of the Fantastic Four with his magic. So… he probably should try REALLY really hard.

He stinks way too much at magic though! Luckily, the spirit of Doctor Strange (Stephen Strange) shows up to cover for him. Strange has also been incapacitated by Doom, but is able to use a little bit of his magic to assist Reed undetected. First thing they do is teleport out of the library to Strange’s house where Reed has a better chance of learning magic. Reed tries to read the teleportation spell like a mathematical formula and it puts them in the middle of traffic instead of Strange’s home.

See how far learning math will get you? It’ll put you right into harms way. Take heed, children.

Things don’t improve much and time runs out for the two of them. Doom pulls Doctor Strange’s spirit back into his captive body. Reed, still unable to wrap his head around the idea that there might be forces he’ll never understand, cannot cast a single spell successfully. Strange does gift him a tiny gun thing before he is zapped away and says it needs magic words to work.

After a lot of trial and error, Reed figures out the magic words are admitting he’s stupid when it comes to magic. Reed does a lot of self deprecating humor with grand magical results! The freed Fantastic Four then takes on Doom.

He gets cut up by The Invisible Woman (Sue Storm), knocked around by The Thing (Ben Grimm), and even roasted by The Human Torch (Johnny Storm) but Doom still won’t fall. Finally, Reed tricks Doom into admitting that he is not in debt to anyone, which goes against the the deal he made with demons for his new magical power. The demons are real mad they’re not getting credit for Doom’s makeover! They attack Doom and the Fantastic Four jump through their demonic portal to grab Franklin and bring him back.

While retreating back out of the portal, Doctor Doom tries to get Reed to help him escape but Reed will no longer be tricked by Doom. So, Doom makes sure Reed will never forget him. He magically scars half of Reed’s face with grotesque burns.

What I Learned From this Comic:

If magic actually worked like it does for Mister Fantastic, I would be the strongest magician in the world.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Mike Wieringo
Inker: Karl Kesel
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #70

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #7
One child trapped in hell. One baby stolen by man wearing skin for clothes. You’d probably make this face if that were you too.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) is seriously off his game with this one. A magically powered Doctor Doom (Victor Von Doom) has sent Franklin Richards, the son of Mister Fantastic and The Invisible Woman (Sue Storm), to hell. So the Fantastic Four travels to Doom’s country of Latveria to confront him. Unfortunately, Doom’s newly souped up magic is keeping any of the team’s powers from harming him.

To protect their remaining child Valeria Richards, The Thing (Ben Grimm) has run away from the battle carrying her on Reed’s command. Reed thinks his technology (another word for “big gun”) is starting to beat Doom but looks like Reed just fell for the oldest trick in the book. Doctor Doom turns his fancy gun into fingers and eyeballs! Oldest trick! How could he not SEE that coming? Surely he FELT like he was being played? Maybe he should KNUCKLE down next time?

And additional puns!

Doom strips away, Reed, Sue, and The Human Torch (Johnny Storms)‘s powers and then summons a horde of Mindless Ones to beat Ben raw. He takes Val from Ben and shows Franklin being terrified in hell. Doom promises on his honor to release Reed’s child if he surrenders. Reed surrenders. Then like an ironic genie granting a wish, Doom puts Val down on the ground. TRUE TO THE LETTER OF THE LAW! VALERIA IS ALSO REED’S CHILD! HE DID WHAT HE SAID! Then Doom slams the portal shut leaving Franklin still trapped in hell.

Having brought the defeated Fantastic Four to his castle, Doom excitedly shows baby Valeria how he’s torturing her family. Ben is getting punched more by Mindless Ones. Johnny has been given Reed’s powers and is being stretched painfully. Sue was given Johnny’s flame powers but it would seem not the power to be impervious to it as she silently burns in agony.

Reed’s torture is probably the most devilish, horrible torture of all. He has to learn magic– wait, what? How is that worse? He gets to be Harry Potter while Sue is ON FIRE?

Doom says he has an easy spell locking Reed into a vast magical library. If Reed can learn the small amount of magic needed to break the lock then they can have their final battle. Doom then does the ultimate middle school yard slam of “You think you’re so smart, but you’re NOT.”

Frustrated from all his attempts to learn magic in the library, Reed is contacted by an outside force willing to help him escape.

What I Learned From This Comic:

For all Reed’s bluster about saving the planet and conservationism he was pretty quick to throw away a large crop of perfectly good fingers and eyeballs.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Mike Wieringo
Inker: Karl Kesel
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #69

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #69
Reed and Ben realize their powers aren’t as cool as Johnny and Sue’s. So they find a way to compensate.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) and The Human Torch (Johnny Storm) stand in horror in front of a teleporter screen. On the other side of the screen, Reed’s son Franklin Richards, screams for help while trapped in hell. The Fantastic Four is under attack and an mystic energy keeps wrecking all their technology which is why Franklin wound up in Hades rather than on the moon with his friends.

Johnny figures he’s the one for the job if the job means flying into a perpetually aflame hellscape and flies through the teleporter after Franklin. Turns out he isn’t fireproof against sacrilegious flames and is knocked back through the portal seriously burned. Then the energy destroys the portal. This leaves Franklin with no way out of hell.

Wondering what’s up with all the screaming and what have you, Sue Storm (The Invisible Woman) and Ben Grimm (The Thing) bring the youngest Richards child Valeria to Reed’s lab. Sue is pretty mad that her husband goofed so bad her boy is now in hell. Reed is really going to get an earful when this is all over.

Reed realizes that Doctor Doom (Victor Von Doom) is behind all this and is attacking them through Val. He yells at his baby. Another point against bad-dad Reed. The team then suits up to head after Doom in his home country of Latveria.

Doom has a quick conference call with the demons he’s tied his soul to for power. Lots of egos getting tossed around. It’s a bad meeting where nothing gets done and no one takes the reigns on any of the projects in the docket.

On the way, Ben tries to warn Dr. Strange that Doom has started using magics, but Strange has already been mentally captured by Doom. Ben just thinks he’s being kind of a jerk.

When they get to Laveria, Doom is easily able to deflect all their attacks with his magic. This leaves Reed without any ideas.

What I Learned from this comic:

A Demon will eat a ribbon. A demon is practically a goat, they’ll eat anything.

The Creators:

Writer: Mark Waid

Penciler: Mike Wieringo

Inker: Karl Kesel

Colorist: Paul Mounts

Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne

Editor: Tom Brevoort

Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #68

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #68
Maybe she’s just in a “Mood”.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Ben Grimm (The Thing) hasn’t been getting his weekly allowance from Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) now that he’s in charge of the team’s money. So Ben decides to get back at him by dropping a comically large water balloon on his head. It’s comically large because it’s so big it would kill Johnny if it actually hit him and you can’t have comedy without tragedy.

Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) and The Invisible Woman (Sue Storm) are in another dimension on a “fancy science crystal” run. How come the neighboring dimensions always seem to have the fancy science crystals but our local one doesn’t? It would totally change our commute if they opened a Fancy Science Crystal store in this town.

When they return they have their children, who are being babysat by the Inhumans on the moon, teleported home. Everything’s great! Valeria isn’t talking yet. Franklin wants to help Reed in his lab. Johnny is looking for a way to murder Ben after getting a little wet. It’s just like your family.

Then Dr. Doom contacts Valeria magically and promises her she will not be harmed. She’s his goddaughter after all. He admits though that his magical connection with her will be what springs his trap for the rest of the Fantastic Four. Then Valeria says her first word: “Doom”.

Impossible energy comes out of one of Reed’s inventions in the lab and chases Franklin. Reed tries to send him back to the moon for safety but the teleporter malfunctions. Reed looks into the teleporter screen in horror seeing that he has done worse than ANY parent EVER. He has literally sent his son to hell.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Reed’s pranking skills are a super power he had never revealed until now.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Mike Wieringo
Inker: Karl Kesel
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #67

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #67
Heartburn like this is why I never eat Indian food late a night.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Doctor Doom (Victor Von Doom) has realized he made a mistake. A long time ago, when he was young he made a choice. This choice has led to every bad thing which is now a part of his life. So he has gone in search of the woman he loved as a young man and left in pursuit of a scientific career. With her blessing he can undo this choice.

He travel’s across America… or maybe just Georgia… and consults fortune tellers to help him in his quest to find the woman Valeria. Most of the people he seeks guidance from are proven to be frauds which bums him out since this is stuff from his childhood they’re imitating. If someone started pretending to be Power Rangers and were being paid money for it but weren’t actually Power Rangers I’d probably feel the same way.

So Doctor Doom, in his sweetest three piece suit, and his Phantom of the Opera-ist mask stroll around small town USA hating everyone he sees. He see’s a dude. He hates that dude. He sees a lady eating cotton candy. He hates the lady AND the cotton candy.

He thinks back on his history with Valeria and remembers when his parents died. When he found out his mother was a sorcerer. When he learned what he could of her talents while improving his own skills with science. When a recruiter for the US Army offered him a scholarship to any university he wished.

When he left Valeria.

A fortune teller proves to be the real deal and sends him to the address of Valeria, who has been hiding from him ever since he because a super villain. Doom confronts her and asks she take him back. A small part of her still loves the man he was so she accepts… which triggers the spell Doctor Doom had prepared.

The choice Doctor Doom wants undone is not leaving Valeria. Instead, it is choosing Science over Magic. He made a deal with demons to be made into a Sorcerer of incredible power if he can give up the one person he loves and loves him in return. Valeria is killed by the spell and her skin forms into Doctor Doom’s new armor.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Doctor Doom won’t take advantage of a hotel which offers free HBO.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Mike Wieringo
Inker: Karl Kesel
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #56

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #56
The Japanese really know how to grow an funny shaped pumpkin.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

The Thing (Ben Grimm), has returned to his childhood neighborhood of Yancy Street to resolve some unfinished business. While walking the streets and scaring the disposable cameras out of a lost tourist Ben remembers growing up in the neighborhood.

His older brother Danny Grimm used to look out for his family since their father was an unemployed drunk. Danny was the leader of the Yancy Street Gang and made his money through less than legal ways. Since this is the Yancy Street Gang we’re talking about, I guess those ways involved stink bombs and spring loaded banana cream pies. Danny also helped Ben get out of rough situations and taught him how to fight.

When Danny died, Ben decided to take his place and take care of his mother by being a member of the Yancy Street Gang. He earned his place in the gang by stealing the local pawn shop owner, and apparent lone victim to The Yancy Street Gang’s criminal career, Mr. Sheckerberg’s prized Star of David necklace.

Ben eventually became leader of the gang only to be kicked out after he moves in with his uncle after the death of his parents. The gang also didn’t like the fact that Ben has plans to be a pilot, a job they deemed un-gang-worthy. They’re not a SKY level gang! They’re STREET level!

Back in the present, Mr Sheckerber is being pressed for protection money and mistake’s Ben for the enforcer. After some yelling, New York style, Ben offers to help Mr. Sheckerber find the real culprits. Ben assumes it’s the Yancy Street Gang and he tries to stop them but they give him the Bugs Bunny treatment with stink bombs and paint from the shadows. Ben returns to the pawn shop to find the super-villain Powderkeg has taken Sheckerberg as a hostage.

The Thing, now aware of the real villain attacks Powderkeg but is blasted away by his protective nitroglycerin sweat. Then the Yancy Street Gang ooze out of the shadows and test if nitroglycerin sweat protects a person from stink bombs and being tripped into manhole covers. It doesn’t! Bugs Bunny remains our country’s greatest weapons expert. Ben puts the final touches on Powderkeg by tying him up with a street lamp.

Mr. Sheckerberg was hurt during the battle and seems to be dying. Ben feels helpless but remembers he can perform the Jewish Kaddish over his body. Embarassed by how bad Ben is at basic Jewish traditions, Mr. Sheckerberg wakes up to give him an earful. He says he thought Ben was ashamed of his Jewish heritage because he never mentions it on CNN. Ben says he doesn’t keep it a secret, he just figures the Jewish community would not appreciate a monster like him be their spokesperson. His words! Not mine!

With a little ribbing, Mr. Sheckerberg talks Ben out of that monster nonsense and does some armchair psycho analyzing over why Ben lets the Yancy Street Gang get the best of him. Short answer: Guilt. Long answer: Guuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllt. Ben does what he came to the neighborhood to do and gives Mr. Sheckerberg back his Star of David. Mr. Sheckerberg let’s Ben keep it.

What I Learned From This Issue:

Ben keeps jewelry in his pants.

The Creators:

Writer: Karl Kesel
Penciler: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Scott Koblish
Colourist: Liquid!
Letterers: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Cover Artist: Gabriele Dell’Otto
Editor-in-Chief: Joe Quesada

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #66

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #66
The Thing is bad at holding songbirds.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

The secret of the unstable molecules, the very secret which allow the Fantastic Four’s uniforms to stretch and burn then return to normal completely fine, has been unlocked! It’s a bad thing though! It has created a wave of unstable molecules spreading across matter, transforming anything they touch into grey goo.

Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) is… pretty much responsible for this happening. In an attempt to keep an crooked fashion designer from getting the unstable molecules secret recipe, he had a piece of the fabric stolen from him. This stolen fabric was used to accidentally create the growing wave of goop.

So Johnny does the smartest thing he can think of and flies off to find his sister Sue Storm (the Invisible Woman) to fix the problem.

Back at the Baxter Building Reed Richards (Mister Fantastic) and Ben Grimm (The Thing) are in the middle of hunting a stowaway bug from another dimension. It isn’t going very well, since Ben has been shrunk down to chase the giant space bug in the air ducts but too small to battle a giant space bug. Reed, unable to shrink the bug down to a more combat-able size decides to make Ben really, really big. Any damage the two were hoping to avoid with this adventure has immediately been tripled. Nothing is safe. Not even Sue’s bathroom.

After leaving his coworker Jian Feeta somewhere safe, Johnny returns to the grey-goo-blob-thing with his big sister. His plan is to make her do all the work. Great plan! After much convincing Sue attempts to wrap the entire building, underground and all, with a force field. It works! Then she has to hold this force field for long enough that the molecules stop adapting to each other and go inert. It also works!

Ben throws the giant bug unceremoniously into a portal back into its home dimension. It works!

Sue decides that Johnny should remain in charge of the Fantastic Four’s money, but along side Jian who turns out to be their only employee not willing to lie and commit crimes. This also gives him charge over which members of the team get how much money. She wants Johnny to not use this power to cheat Ben out of his allowance. It doesn’t work!

What I Learned From This Comic:

Ohana means family and family means you never have to learn from your actions.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler, Inker: Mark Buckingham
Colorist: Matt Milla
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #65

The cover to Fantastic Four Vol 3 #65
Johnny Storm doing his best 1980’s Businessman/The Devil impression.
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

The Thing, Ben Grimm, sees a giant bug in the living quarters of the Fantastic Four. He then does the exact opposite of what anyone else would do and chases after it, destroying much of the apartment in the process. Ben continuing his pattern of wrecking stuff more than he saves people.

Also, the Baxter Building is also where the FF’s children Franklin and Valeria live so Ben might be trying to quickly kill that giant bug for their safety. I’m not sure rampaging orange rock man mere feet away from their tiny children bodies is that much safer. I’ve got to check the numbers, but I’m pretty sure it falls into a net loss.

The Human Torch, Johnny Storm, is also busy trying to squash a giant bug. His bug is the metaphorical slug of OFFICE POLITICS! After being put in charge of the team’s financial division in an attempt by his sister The Invisible Woman (Sue Storm) to make him grow up, Johnny’s been targeted by two of his coworkers. They have been trying to position him into making a bad deal for /Mister Fantastic’s (Reed Richards) unstable molecule formula. A shady fashion designer wants to make outfits out of them like the uniforms of the Fantastic Four.

So Johnny sets a trap where he gives a piece of the material to the fashion designer then springs his trap! But why? If he knew the whole deal was fake, why pretend? Why waste the time? You’re in charge of the money now, Mr. Storm. Haven’t you heard that TIME IS MONEY?

Anyway, the fashion designer had apparently already stolen Johnny’s wallet in attempt to reverse engineer the unstable molecules. But… That’s an actual crime. An actual everyday crime. A bonafide “Officer that man just stole my wallet please arrest him!” crime. You can’t steal a dude’s wallet! The experiments to unlock the unstable molecules work, and what Reed had always feared would happen does happen: the unstable-ness of the molecules start spreading to anything and anyone they touched. So everything starts turning to goo. Thanks again, science!

Back at the Baxter Building: Reed shrinks Ben down to a size which will fit in the ventilator shaft. It’s adorable. Ben goes into the ventilation to find the giant bug but once he does realizes he’s been shrunk down too much to stand a chance against him! Bug irony!

What I Learned From This Comic:

Stealing is legal as long as it is in service of moving the plot forward.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler, Inker: Mark Buckingham
Colorist: Matt Milla
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt

Mister Fantastic Teaches a Robot to Love – Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #64

The cover to Fantastic Four (Vol 3) #64
Do you suffer from hot flashes? Try turning invisible! Thanks Invisolyte!
From Series: Fantastic Four (Vol 3)

What Happened:

The Human Torch (Johnny Storm) and The Thing (Ben Grimm) are battling Modulus in order to buy Mister Fantastic (Reed Richards) some time. Modulus was created from a super computer storing all of Reed’s scientific works and as a result loves him. As love naturally works, Modulus now wishes to remove/destory everything/everyone else from his life…

Modulus is a bad computer boyfriend!

Reed’s super powered family, The Fantastic Four, do not take kindly to a glowing math creature trying to “remove” them so they are tussling!

Reed has gone into the computer world Modulus was born. In there he is attempting to create the mathematical value of himself. This, he hopes will complete the equation Modulus represents and satisfy his craving for attention. What a drama queen, we’re all real excited to get rid of him. Hope that mathematical value of yourself thing works, Reed.

Wait… mathematical value of Mister Fantastic? I guess we’re lucky it’s not 42. Excellent restraint, creative team. You really threaded the needle with that one.

The Invisible Woman (Sue Storm) has her two children Franklin and Valeria and is trying to find a way to get them to safety while Ben and Johnny scrap and Reed tries to determine if listening to Dave Mathews Band is a +7 or -7 to his super-duper-soul-laid-bare-sleep-mattress number. Everything has a mathematical value after all!

Modulus tricks Ben and Johnny into getting buried under a sky scrapper and then goes after Sue. He’s about to kill Franklin when Reed arrives with his finalized “Math-Reed”.

After being pretty pouty about getting the store brand and not the real Reed Richards Modulus is finally convinced and hops onto that sweet Math-Reed. A merging occurs. I’m sure some people might find it beautiful.

But it’s not.

At the end of the book Reed and Franklin are bonding together playing a collectible card game. Reed kind of stinks at it though and starts finding a lot of logical errors in the rules. Maybe you should take it up with Wizards of the Coast and not a young boy, Reed. Sheesh, let your son enjoy his Pokemon cards or whatever.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Mister Fantastic should not do karaoke.

The Creators:
Writer: Mark Waid
Penciler: Mike Wieringo
Inker: Karl Kesel
Colorist: Paul Mounts
Letterer: Richard Starkings & Albert Deschesne
Editor: Tom Brevoort
Assistant Editor: Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt