Green Arrow (Vol 3) #8

The cover to Grene Arrow (Vol 3) #8
The one with a beard is evil!? They both have beards!
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What happened:

Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) and Oliver Queen (Also Green Arrow) meet in heaven because they both died. The end. I don’t want to explain how this happened. No, I’m done. Green Arrow died and had a long talk with himself in heaven, what more do you need? Will knowing why there are two Green Arrow’s make your life better in any way? You could be using that time to learn a skill! Brush up on your Spanish. Read a wikihow on how to repair holes in your jeans. There’s so much more you could do besides learn about the two Green Arrows.

OK, have the weak of heart left?

They have?

Cool. Let’s do this.

So, there is the younger Oliver Queen who has been running around Star City claiming to be Green Arrow even though Green Arrow died in an explosion years ago. There is also an older Oliver Queen who has been enjoying himself very much in heaven. When The Demon Etrigan freaks out when he sees the younger Ollie he burns him up with his fire breath. Fortunately, Hal Jordan, the current host of the all-powerful-voice-of-God The Spectre, uses his powers to save Young Ollie and take him to heaven where he can meet Old Ollie.

But why are there two Ollie’s?! The answer is complicated so grab your Texas Instruments graphing calculator.

When Hal Jordan was good. He was the Green Lantern of Earth. Then Hal Jordan was bad. He started calling himself Parallax and killed a bunch of people. After a while he decided to be good again and sacrificed himself to save the world during the big Final Night event. UNKNOWN TO US UNTIL NOW, right before Hal went to save the world he visited the deceased Ollie in heaven and asked if he would like to come back to life. Since Ollie’s life sucked before he died and he was IN HEAVEN he didn’t want to. His life was bad and heaven is great. Makes complete sense. Hal did not give up that easily though so Ollie offered a horrible macabre compromise which looks into the face of decency and laughs. Instead of Ollie being brought back to life… what if Hal just brought his BODY back to life… as a soulless abomination? Since Hal was still getting used to being a good guy again he didn’t recognize this was stupid and agreed. So young Ollie is the soulless body and old Ollie is the body-less soul.

Back in the world of the living Batman (Bruce Wayne), Black Canary (Dinah Lance), Arsenal (Roy Harper), and Deadman (Boston Brand) manage to subdue Etrigan and turn him back into his human form of Jason Blood. Deadman tells everyone Ollie is safe. With nothing else left for them to do they all just go home.

Ollie returns to the home of Stanley Dover, the old man with whom he has been living since returning to life. Ollie catches Stanley up on events and when he says he has no soul the old traitor conks Ollie unconscious. Ollie wakes up tied to a table alongside his new friend Mia Dearden. Stanley decides to lay all his creep-cards out on the table and show’s he has a terrified boy dressed as a monster trapped in a glass bubble as well. Living with Stanley was a bad choice!

Meanwhile, Connor Hawke wakes up from a nightmare somehow knowing the dad he never met is in trouble.

What I learned:

Jason Blood’s penis is not the size Deadman would like a penis to be.

Writer: Kevin Smith
Pencils: Phil Hester
Inker: Ande Park
Colourist: Guy Major
Letterer: Sean Konot
Cover Artist: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Ollie Goes To Heaven – Green Arrow (Vol 3) #7

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #7
Using arrows to solve all your problems is getting a little ridiculous, Ollie.

From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) is sort of dead. ONLY SORT OF. When Etrigan killed him after Jason Blood realized the resurrected Ollie was a hollow (a body without a soul) Hal Jordan was able to save him just in time. Hal is one of Ollie’s best friends and used to be The Green Lantern, but these days he’s paying back a penance by fulfilling the role of the spirit of vengeance: The Spectre.

After some very showy flair from Hal, Ollie punches him in the fact mostly because Ollie is confused by EVERYTHING these days. Ollie’s memory stops decades ago because of a complication with his resurrection and now he doesn’t remember Hal dying, or Hal turning evil, or any of the other wacky fun of the 90’s. Thus, punching a demigod like The Spectre in the face is probably not too crazy of an action considering where he’s at right now.

Hal takes Ollie on a tour of the afterlife and does his best to explain how he came back to life. It seems, one of Hal’s last acts as the evil Parallax was to bring Ollie back using a microscopic trace of him left on Superman (Clark Kent)‘s uniform from YEARS AGO.

The decision to leave this revived version of Ollie without some memories was done by a mysterious source who Hal is keeping secret. So NO SPOILERS OK!?

It’s Ollie.

Anyway, Ollie and Hal run into The Flash (Barry Allen), Deadman (Boston Brand), Robin (Jason Todd), and The Phantom Stranger in heaven, all of whom drop mountain sized hints that there are now two Ollie’s in heaven. Hollow Ollie would rather frown at people and want to punch them for being different than he remembers instead of pick up on these clues.

Then they go to a field and find an older version of Ollie (SURPRISE!!!) shooting archery. What. Is. Going. ON.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Superman is pretty gross.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Green Arrow (Vol 3) #1

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #1
Before every big date, a man will shave his eyeballs just in case things get a little intimate.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Years ago, during the events of The Final Night, Batman (Bruce Wayne) and Superman (Clark Kent) talk about the weather and argue about whether or not Parallax (Hal Jordan) sucks. Batman thinks he sucks. Superman doesn’t. The argument goes on for a while and ends when Superman feels something microscopic be removed from himself but he can’t tell what.

Meanwhile Parallax visits the grave of his best friend: Green Arrow (Ollie Queen).

Back in the present, Arsenal (Roy Harper) is lying in wait to stop a large heroin deal from going down. While waiting he thinks back on Ollie, his adoptive father figure. Ollie taught Roy how to have patience which has helped Roy with his many trials as a hero. Mainly it helped him kick his own heroin habit, which makes stopping this drug deal even more emotional for the guy. Luckily, Roy brought a sandwich with him to help him resist the cravings for some smack.

Black Canary (Dinah Lance) is also in position for a sting operation. She wonders what makes a good man while remembering all the highs and lows of her and Ollie’s relationship. The biggest low being when he had a child with another woman. She admits she doesn’t think about him that much any more and wonders why he has come back into her thoughts. Then Black Canary beats up a Russian mafia guy and leaves him for the FBI.

At a Buddhist temple, the son of Ollie Queen and the current Green Arrow (Connor Hawke) is trying to find peace after failing to connect with his dead father through taking up his mantle. He feels pretty silly about running around being a super hero which immediately makes him more mature than 90 percent of the characters in comic books. He farms at the temple, but likes to do it dangerously with his bow and arrow for no reason.

Back in Star City, crime has gotten worse and Stanley Dover is about to be mugged and left for dead when a homeless Ollie Queen saves him with homemade trash arrows. It’s pretty yucky.

What I learned from this comic:

A smart super hero brings a lunch and fountain drink to the drug sting.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

The Final Night #4

The cover to The Final Night #4
A tiny little drop of pee on Parallax’s pants… But nobody tell him! He’d be too embarrassed after posing dramatically like that in the sun.
From Series: The Final Night

What Happened:

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) is bummed he wasn’t able to finagle the disgraced Green Lantern, Parallax (Hal Jordan), into helping the Earth. The Earth’s sun has been taken over by a being known as the Sun-Eater. Humanity’s prospects have only gotten worse with the recent discovery of the sun’s upcoming explosion.

So the heroes have joined together for a last ditch attempt at killing the Sun-Eater. Lex Luthor has made all the super speedsters into his own sweat shop and created many small force field devices. Since he has already survived flying into the sun, the plan is to have Green Lantern fly a ship with these devices and surround the doomed sun with them. The explosion of the sun will give the devices power which will then turn the damage away from the earth and back to the Sun-Eater and hopefully kill it. We won’t have a sun anymore but that is what space heaters are for.

Green Lantern is ready to go when he suddenly vanishes. The heroes don’t even have TIME to question this so Superman (Clark Kent) immediately volunteers. Superman hopes the explosion will restart his powers, which have been absent since the sun went away, but just in case he writes a suicide note for Lois Lane.

Final Night all-star, MVP, Hall of Famer character Ferro steals the ship before Superman can board. He’s ready to sacrifice himself because Superman means too much to too many people so he can’t risk his death.

Everyone’s pretty annoyed by then but then Parallax shows up with Green Lantern ready to help out. Superman is 100% ready for Parallax to take the ball with this one. Batman (Bruce Wayne) is more skeptical since the last time they saw Parallax he was trying to bend all of time and space to his will. Cooler heads prevail and the mad cosmic demi-god is allowed to go into space and play with the sun.

Ferro’s attempt at stopping the explosion fails when the explosion happens faster than they thought it would. Not his fault. Kind of makes all the people putting this plan together look bad for all their horsing around, frankly!

His butt’s saved by Parallax. He sends Ferro back to Earth and then recites the Green Lantern oath while reigniting the sun and absorbing the sun-eater. This final act kills him off panel.

Back on Earth Batman tells Superman that Hal Jordan still sucks and swings away.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Super heroes are a little too trigger happy with their own noble sacrifices.

The Creators:
Writer: Karl Kesel
Penciller: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Jose Marzan, Jr.
Colorist: Patricia Mulvihill
Letterer: Gaspar Saladino
Editor: Dan Thorsland
Assistant Editor: Ali Morales

Parallax: Emerald Knight #1

The cover to Parallax: Emerald Night #1
Black Hole Sun? No thanks. This old man ain’t listening to no Soundgarden.

What Happened:

Disgraced former Green Lantern, now calling himself Parallax, Hal Jordan has tracked down Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman is the last remaining culprit of the destruction of Jordan’s hometown Coast City. He also has the worst name and most apt name. So Jordan is pretty stinking mad at him. Especially since Jordan is now evil.

As they battle, Jordan realizes that Cyborg Superman can’t be killed or imprisoned by conventional means. So he pushes the big galoot into the source wall. Many more powerful beings have tried to pass through the source wall only to be stuck for eternity for thinking they were too big for their britches. Cyborg Superman gets stuck real good in a living death which satisfies Jordan’s need for revenge.

The current Green Lantern Kyle Rayner shows up. He’s got some bad news from Earth. It’s about to be blown up by the sun. Rayner has come to Jordan for help but Jordan’s not convinced. He’s had a pretty good run at being a bad guy so far. Killed and hurt a lot of his friends… almost recreated all of reality in his image… pushed a robot dude into a space wall. Yeah! Things are looking great, why mess with what’s not broken?

Jordan still considers helping though. He decides to do some investigating to see if being a hero again is worth it. He returns to earth, which has gone dark thanks to the Sun-Eater slowly gobbling up our sun. He visits former Green Lantern Guy Gardner and gets yelled at.

Then he visits another former Green Lantern John Stewart who has been paralyzed from the waist down. Jordan makes it so Stewart can walk again! He then gets yelled at.

He visits his old plane mechanic friend Tom Kalmaku. He still thinks Jordan is great! At this point Jordan probably feels too weird about not getting yelled at so he bounces before saying goodbye.

He then visits his ex-Girlfriend Carol Ferris and gets a kiss. (The romantic way to be yelled at.)

Next he visits the grave of Green Arrow, Ollie Queen. Doesn’t get yelled at. No kiss. Nuts.

Jordan’s last stop is at ground zero of the remains of Coast City. The event which led him to become the villain he is today finally convinces him to sacrifice himself to save the Earth. He lets everyone know Hal Jordan has returned as a hero.

What I Learned From This Issue:

Green Lanterns aren’t allowed to have noses.

The Creators:
Writer: Ron Marz
Penciler: Mike McKone
Inker: Mark McKenna
Colorist: John Kalisz
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Kevin Dooley
, Eddie Berganza