Batman Buys a Victory – JLA #15

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #15
I’ll never understand how the United States Justice System works.

From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

Back in the present time, Superman (Clark Kent), Batman (Bruce Wayne), Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onzz), an undercover Green Arrow (Connor Hawke), and Aztek (Uno) are trying to stop Lex Luthor and his Injustice Gang. The biggest problem they face is Lex’s Philosopher’s Stone, which can make anything he imagines come true. Also, unknown to the Justice League, if the stone is destroyed it will lead their world to the nightmare future Aquaman (Arthur Curry), Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), and The Flash (Wally West) were sent to.

Lex tries to scare Aztek into joining the Injustice Gang with the fact that his company actually funded all of the technology which powers Aztek’s armor. Also, her tries to scare Aztek by trapping him in the JLA Watchtower with a lot of nuclear warheads. Both methods do not work! Aztek refuses to switch sides and gets to work defusing all the warheads. A hopeless task, since there are too many… and not enough time… and he is a super hero in the comic book story…!

On Earth, Batman, Superman and Martian Manhunter get ready to fly into space and take on the Injustice Gang. They have a little bit of an advantage in the form of three spies Batman has working for him on Lex’s secret satellite.

One of those spies is uncovered by the Injustice Gang when The Joker is found tied up and hidden away while another Joker is busy taunting Lex. Lex does something he probably should not need this much justification for and shoots the annoying Joker. The bullet passes through him without harm. This is because the fake Joker is actually the shape changing Plastic Man (Patrick “Eel” O’Brian)!

Plastic Man is in the perfect position to start taking out the Injustice Gang before the reinforcements arrive but instead decides to harass Circe. Not time well spent.

Green Arrow, who has been pretending to turn against the JLA then reveals his true motives and allows Batman and the others teleport onto the satellite. They battle, and at one point Superman is turned into a radio wave because of his new powers and shot into space like an old Johnny Unitas football game broadcast. The JLA is victorious though, just like the conclusion to last issue spoiled.

Then Green Lantern, returning from the apocalyptic future, is able to warn Martian Manhunter in time to stop Superman from destroying the Philosopher’s Stone. BUT IT WASN’T THE PHILSOPHER’S STONE. THE JOKER ACTUALLY HAS THE REAL PHILOSOPHER’S STONE. SO WHY DID IT MATTER.

EXPLAIN THAT, TIME TRAVEL.

Martian Manhunter is able to telepathically make Joker sane for just enough time to use the Philosopher’s Stone and undo all of The Injustice Gang’s damage. Aztek and Green Arrow then quit the Justice League because things got hard and they didn’t like that.

Metron, now working on the side of the angels again, takes the Philosopher’s Stone and delivers it to the Hourman (Matthew Tyler) of the future. Hourman is told there’s another time disruption coming for the Justice League and it’ll be his job to fix it this time.

It’s cute how Metron and Hourman take turns!

Metron then visits the guardians of the Wonderworld, and lets them know the approaching war they have dedicated their lives to fighting won’t be fought by them. Oh well. Time for them to figure out if they have any other hobbies worth pursing. Try cooking! You get to eat your hobby when your hobby is cookie!

BACK. On. EARTH…

Superman, Batman, and Aquaman have decided to disband the Justice League.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Doctor Light has a lot of great and terrible powers like “Make everything red” and “Make everything green.”

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter, Gary Frank, Greg Land
Inker: John Dell, Bob McLeod
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editors: Dan Raspler and Peter Tomasi

JLA #11

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #11
“Now where did I leave those blue and green crayons?”
From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

Lex Luthor has constructed an Injustice Gang to take down the JLA because he thinks Superman made the team just to spook him. Well Lex Luthor isn’t spooked by a team of demi-gods! And Lex Luthor doesn’t make wild assumptions about other people’s actions! Lex Luthor wouldn’t make a mistake like that! Lex Luthor doesn’t make mistakes, this is why he has a murderous clown on his team.

The Flash (Wally West), Superman, Aquaman (Arthur Curry), Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onzz), Aztek (Uno), and Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) meet on the Watchtower to discuss the recent attack by their evil holographic clones. Aquaman uses his fish connections to discover his clone was spotted in a part of the ocean right before that part of the ocean vanished. Batman (Bruce Wayne) also Skypes into the meeting to let everyone know large chunks of air have been disappearing.

Green Arrow (Connor Hawke) calls in an alert that the missing ocean has shown up in California and the JLA sends Green Lantern to fix that catastrophe. Meanwhile, Superman and Martian Manhunter go to investigate the source of the teleporting air and water.

Green Lantern fixes everything with a wacky cartoon and then decides to take the rest of the day off with Green Arrow. They hang out at a diner and complain about work. Circe is conveniently at this diner and uses her power over men to plant distrust between Green Arrow and the rest of the team.

While investigating the source of the teleportation, Superman and Martian Manhunter get stuck in a hologram of a maze controlled by Joker’s brain. J’onn is only able to navigate out of it after shape-shifting his own brain into something equally as crazy as Joker’s, but then Superman goofs and sets of a bomb.

Metron of the New Gods busts into the Watchtower to set up the next story line. C’mon man! We’re not finished with this one yet! He needs The Flash, Aquaman, Aztec to help him find the philosopher’s stone before Darkseid.

Back on earth Batman gets to play dress up and finds Plastic Man. Then he reveals to Robin he knows Lex Luthor is behind all the troubles the JLA is having and prepares to go to war with him not as The Dark Knight but as the sketchy corporate businessman Bruce Wayne.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Plastic Man can’t be fooled by a wig and a mustache, unlike the entire criminal population.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz

Who Is The Best At Robots? – JLA #5

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #5
Personal space bubble, Plastic Man! Personal space bubble!
From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

The JLA is having a recruitment drive to build up their new roster. So they have a bit of a talent show! Steel, Hitman, Max Mercury, Green Arrow, Aztek, Artemis, Plastic Man, Warrior, and Damage all show up. Most of them are either too much of a weirdo or were never really into the idea of being on the team anyway.

The only people being considered for the team are Green Arrow and Aztek. The Justice Legaue is pretty down about the lack of great heroes when suddenly Tomorrow Woman arrives in time to save everyone from debris with her telekinetic powers. She is on the team immediately!

Everything seems to be going great with Tomorrow Woman. Everyone on the team likes her and she helps out with the League’s ongoing investigation on a new destructive force called “IF”. But wait!… she is actually a robot! A robot created by villains Professor Ivo and Professor T.O. Morrow! A robot with a built in electromagnetic device which will wipe the brains of the Justice League. That doesn’t seem great at all!

Ivo and Morrow have a great time bro-ing out with some champagne while their robot gains the Justice League’s trust. Meanwhile, the Justice League learns mid-battle with it, that IF is a weapon. They figure the only way to turn off this weapon is, coincidentally, an electromagnetic pulse.

Tomorrow Woman knows that her programming is pushing her towards killing the Justice League but she doesn’t want to do it. So, Tomorrow Woman flies into IF and uses the electromagnetic pulse to save her teammates and sacrifice herself.

Morrow thinks this is great. He brags that this proves he is better at making robots because he can build “souls” into his robots. Ivo is less delighted that the plan didn’t work but admits Morrow is pretty good at robots. Gamepoint: Morrow.

Then the Justice League throw them in jail. Gamepoint: Justice League.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Don’t invite Hitman to anything, ever.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz