House of M #5

The cover to House of M #5
“Hello, good day. Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ our lord and savior?”
From Series: House of M

What Happened:

Layla Miller is getting eaaased into the life of super heroics by going inside her own brain with The White Queen (Emma Frost). She’s understandably really weirded out by her giant brain and Emma’s awful bedside manner as they try to figure out why Layla has the power to awaken everyone’s true memories in the alternate reality they’ve woken up in. Ending diagnosis: no idea! Oh well, don’t look a gift Beta Ray Bill in the mouth, that’s what I always say.

I made a Thor joke!

They get down to it and start an exciting montage of returning the memories of all the super heroes they can find. Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), Doctor Strange, Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde), Cyclops (Scott Summers), She Hulk (Jennifer Walters), Daredevil (Matt Murdock), etc, etc! This will fill up pages nicely!

When the group of heroes find Captain America (Steve Rogers), they’re turned off by how old he seems. I guess super heroes are ageist? Didn’t Magneto live through the Holocaust? How old is Franklin Richards again? Aaaaahh, lets not stress about all this! Anyway, Captain America is deemed too old to help, since in this world he was never frozen into a block of ice. Unknown to the other heroes, Layla returns his memories as well. I guess as a way to make sure he is fully aware of how little he’s helping? Don’t kick a man while he’s down, Layla.

When they return Spider-man (Peter Parker)‘s memories, he is less than pleased. Spider-man found himself in a perfect life where he married Gwen Stacy, had a son, is loved by everyone in New York City, and his Uncle Ben never died. When he realizes this is not his life true life he is ready to kill whoever created this universe.

On the topic of who to kill, the heroes then have a meeting to discuss. Because they need to kill someone. They’re positive.

The team seems pretty certain Magneto (Erik Lehnsherr) made his daughter The Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) create it. It’s all guess work. And they have no proof. But they are going to kill Magneto and Scarlett Witch anyway. Because justice!

More brainwashed heroes working for Shield attack the group but have their own memories restored by Layla before anyone gets hurt. They now seem to have enough numbers now to attack Magneto, who is currently ruler of the mutant country Genosia.

On Genosia, Polaris (Lorna Dane) tells Magneto to start getting ready for the arriving guests. Magneto wants a minute alone as he stands by a monument to the departed Charles Xavier.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Spider-man’s dream life includes a different hair style.

What I Learned From This Comic:
The Creators:
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Olivier Coipel
Inker: Tim Townsend
Colourists: Frank D’Armata
Letterers: Chris Eliopoulos
Cover Artist: Esad Ribic
Editors: Tom Brevoort, Stephanie Moore, Molly Lazer, & Andy Schmidt

House of M #1

The cover to House of M #1
“And we shall call this place… Plymouth Rock!”
From Series: House of M

What Happened:

After the events of Avengers Disassembled, The Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) is recovering from her nervous breakdown. She is being tended by Magneto (Erik Lehnsherr) and Professor X (Charles Xavier) in the ruins of the once all mutant country Genosha.

Her recovery is not going well. During her last episode she killed several members of the Avengers. Now Professor X, the most powerful telepath on earth, is having trouble just keeping her from creating babies out of thin air. Neither Magneto or Professor X can afford to pay for diapers right now so they always make her unmake the babies, but their concern is rising.

Professor X calls a meeting between the New Avengers, the X-Men, and some old Avengers who are still pretty butt-hurt about not getting onto the new team. The meeting is to decide if they should kill The Scarlet Witch. Everyone has different opinions on the fact. Captain America (Steve Rogers) says no. Wolverine (Logan) says yes before the question is even finished. Wonder Man (Simon Williams) says no, but that’s because he still loves Wanda. The White Queen (Emma Frost) says yes, since it’ll be disastrous to human/mutant relations if a mutant like Scarlet Witch kills any more people. Some people want to ask Wanda’s opinion, which is a dumb thought.

Since Doctor Strange (Stephen Strange) and Professor X are still uncertain if they’ll ever be able to cure her, the debate goes nowhere.

Meanwhile back at Genosha, Quicksilver (Pietro Maximoff) has told Magneto about the meeting between the Avengers and the X-Men and is begging him to help Wanda. Magneto isn’t sure killing Wanda is the wrong thing to do, which really make Quicksilver cry a bunch.

The Avengers and X-Men show up in Genosha in an attempt to see the condition of The Scarlet Witch only to not find her, Quicksilver, or Magneto there. Then one by one they start to disappear. Spider-man (Peter Parker) is the last one remaining when he is enveloped in a golden light and wakes up married to Gwen Stacy with a child. Whaaat?

What I Learned From This Comic:

Super heroes don’t need any sort of… judge or lawyer present while deciding who shall live and who shall die.

The Creators:
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Penciler: Olivier Coipel
Inker: Tim Townsend
Colourists: Frank D’Armata
Letterers: Chris Eliopoulos
Cover Artist: Esad Ribic
Editors: Tom Brevoort, Stephanie Moore, Molly Lazer, & Andy Schmidt