Green Arrow (Vol 3) #8

The cover to Grene Arrow (Vol 3) #8
The one with a beard is evil!? They both have beards!
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What happened:

Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) and Oliver Queen (Also Green Arrow) meet in heaven because they both died. The end. I don’t want to explain how this happened. No, I’m done. Green Arrow died and had a long talk with himself in heaven, what more do you need? Will knowing why there are two Green Arrow’s make your life better in any way? You could be using that time to learn a skill! Brush up on your Spanish. Read a wikihow on how to repair holes in your jeans. There’s so much more you could do besides learn about the two Green Arrows.

OK, have the weak of heart left?

They have?

Cool. Let’s do this.

So, there is the younger Oliver Queen who has been running around Star City claiming to be Green Arrow even though Green Arrow died in an explosion years ago. There is also an older Oliver Queen who has been enjoying himself very much in heaven. When The Demon Etrigan freaks out when he sees the younger Ollie he burns him up with his fire breath. Fortunately, Hal Jordan, the current host of the all-powerful-voice-of-God The Spectre, uses his powers to save Young Ollie and take him to heaven where he can meet Old Ollie.

But why are there two Ollie’s?! The answer is complicated so grab your Texas Instruments graphing calculator.

When Hal Jordan was good. He was the Green Lantern of Earth. Then Hal Jordan was bad. He started calling himself Parallax and killed a bunch of people. After a while he decided to be good again and sacrificed himself to save the world during the big Final Night event. UNKNOWN TO US UNTIL NOW, right before Hal went to save the world he visited the deceased Ollie in heaven and asked if he would like to come back to life. Since Ollie’s life sucked before he died and he was IN HEAVEN he didn’t want to. His life was bad and heaven is great. Makes complete sense. Hal did not give up that easily though so Ollie offered a horrible macabre compromise which looks into the face of decency and laughs. Instead of Ollie being brought back to life… what if Hal just brought his BODY back to life… as a soulless abomination? Since Hal was still getting used to being a good guy again he didn’t recognize this was stupid and agreed. So young Ollie is the soulless body and old Ollie is the body-less soul.

Back in the world of the living Batman (Bruce Wayne), Black Canary (Dinah Lance), Arsenal (Roy Harper), and Deadman (Boston Brand) manage to subdue Etrigan and turn him back into his human form of Jason Blood. Deadman tells everyone Ollie is safe. With nothing else left for them to do they all just go home.

Ollie returns to the home of Stanley Dover, the old man with whom he has been living since returning to life. Ollie catches Stanley up on events and when he says he has no soul the old traitor conks Ollie unconscious. Ollie wakes up tied to a table alongside his new friend Mia Dearden. Stanley decides to lay all his creep-cards out on the table and show’s he has a terrified boy dressed as a monster trapped in a glass bubble as well. Living with Stanley was a bad choice!

Meanwhile, Connor Hawke wakes up from a nightmare somehow knowing the dad he never met is in trouble.

What I learned:

Jason Blood’s penis is not the size Deadman would like a penis to be.

Creators:
Writer: Kevin Smith
Pencils: Phil Hester
Inker: Ande Park
Colourist: Guy Major
Letterer: Sean Konot
Cover Artist: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Jason Blood’s Test – Green Arrow (Vol 3) #6

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #6
Honestly, it looks like Etrigan has every right to be angry.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) and Batman (Bruce Wayne) have been attacked by Etrigan! Etrigan seems to really want Ollie dead without even meeting him first. So we can’t blame Ollie’s personality this time. After Etrigan knocks Batman around and blows up his plane, Ollie steps in to shoot a fire extinguisher arrow into the demon’s mouth. Etrigan, who lives within the endless flame and torture of hell, finds this UNBEARABLE and returns to the human form of Jason Blood.

Justin isn’t sure why Etrigan attacked Ollie, but he suspects it has something to do with the fact that the two of them are searching for a hollow. A Hollow is a body without a soul, which provides an all too enticing prize for demons of hell who need a free body to return to earth. And Ollie just mystiously came back to life missing memories after being dead for years. Strange!

Arsenal (Roy Harper) and Black Canary (Dinah Lance) show up. Ollie is happy to see Roy again and gives him a hug. Ollie is happy to see Dinah again and makes out with her. A lot of physical contact getting thrown around here. Roy offers to take them back to Star City with the Teen Titans jet.

On the plane, Black Canary and Ollie work to figure out what memories Ollie is missing. Canary is more than a little peeved that he conveniently doesn’t remember all the horrible things he did which led to the two of them breaking up. Ollie thinks it’s GREAT that he doesn’t remember those things because its almost like they never happened! Well, in his mind it never happened at least. They very much happened.

The gang goes to Jason Blood’s place where he’ll be able to tell what is up with Ollie. He suspects Ollie is a Hollow, a body without a soul. So he surrounds Ollie in magical protection circle and summons a horde of demons. The demons reeeeally want to get to Ollie, which is all the proof Jason needs to know he’s a hollow. Which meeeaaaannnsss…

Jason has to kill Ollie.

A hollow is too dangerous to have walking around because any demon can easily possess him, even high level demons which could bring about the end of the world.

Jason turns back into Etrigan to do the deed. Batman, Arsenal, and Canary try to fight through the horde of demons to save Ollie but are too late. He’s been roasted to nothing by Etrigan.

What I learned From This Comic:

The “that’s not how I remember things” defense doesn’t work even if you actually don’t remember those things.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Green Arrow (Vol 3) #4

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #4
Figures the one day Aquaman didn’t have time to touch up his gray would be the day of an impromptu photo shoot.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) and Aquaman (Arthur Curry) are in combat with Black Manta. Aquaman is super surprised that Green Arrow is alive (because he was not the last time anyone checked) but manages to keep his cool about the whole thing. He’s also pretty focused on his arch enemy, Black Manta, and has gotten really stoked about finally killing him. Before he can ram his hook hand through Manta’s chest, Green Arrow stops him with a lasso arrow.

After turning in the criminal to the authorities Aquaman decides he’s going to surprise the rest of the Justice League with Green Arrow’s return and teleports them both to the JLA’s home base on the moon, the Watchtower.

Meanwhile, we learn there is something creepy going on with Green Arrow’s new friend Stanley Dover. He is hiding something from Ollie and the young Mia Dearden.

In another part of the city, the Star City Slayer takes another homeless child from the street. The kid seems to recognize this person and follow him willingly. While this is happening, the caged monster we’ve been seeing in shadows is mourning the absence of his friend.

Wonder Woman (Diana of Themyscira), The Flash (Wally West), and Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onnz) are the first to arrive at the Watchtower after Aquaman’s summons and are pretty crabby about it. You’d think their lifestyles didn’t ever call upon them needing to come quickly to important events with their attitudes. Also, The Flash is worried that his wife might think he’s having an affair. Why would Linda Park think her husband, The Flash, would be having an affair because he gets a call to go to the Watchtower? That probably happens every night. Maybe work on your marriage a little there, Wally. It doesn’t stop at the wedding! It’s an ongoing project!

Anyway, after some awkward crowd work (Isn’t Aquaman supposed to be a king who gives speeches and stuff?) Aquaman introduces Ollie. Everyone is surprised, but not really because super heroes come back all the time. Then Wonder Woman kisses Ollie for no reason because she’s a feminist icon and Kevin Smith is a master writer (Buh.).

Green Arrow is confused though. He doesn’t know why Wally is wearing Barry Allen’s old costume. And he doesn’t understand where his best friend Hal went. Or why Kyle Rayner is dressed like the Green Lantern. Or why Superman (Clark Kent) hugs him like they haven’t seen each other in years. Finally when he sees a photo of the Justice League with a boy he’s never seen before (Connor Hawke) dressed as Green Arrow he decides the team has gone crazy and is replacing all its members with more impressionable children. He points an arrow at the Watchtower’s glass window and threatens to blow a hole into the outer space outside.

Before Green Arrow can kill all his friends because he’s mad about work politics Batman (Bruce Wayne) knocks him out. Batman takes his unconscious body with him back to the Batcave.

Back on Earth, Oracle (Barbara Gordon) contacts the Black Canary (Dinah Lance) and tells her about the news report of her dead ex-boyfriend Ollie Queen fighting Black Manta.

What I Learned From this Comic:

Never invite Wonder Woman to a meeting she doesn’t need to sit in on.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Green Arrow (Vol 3) #3

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #3
Green Arrow is going to hunt fish by shooting arrows into the SKY? Maybe he died for a Darwinian reason.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Oliver Queen) stops in on a businessman who seems pretty upset with a bunch of stuff. Mainly he hates that the crocked politician he had in his pocket has been arrested because a man with a bow and arrow told the cops to. It does seem strange… should the cops would take the word of a total stranger that a person had committed crimes… it makes the world susceptible to a system of law resembling a witch hunt– OH SORRY RIGHT COMIC BOOKS RIGHT GOT IT.

The businessman has an opportunity to ask the dude with the arrows about these things because Green Arrow busts into his office and assaults him. Green Arrow is thrown off track though when he realizes it’s the year 1999, which is a year MUCH later than he thought.

Mia Dearden shows up at the Youth Center where Ollie works during the day. Ollie is embarrassed by how quickly she can tell he’s Green Arrow (unique beard, small mask, doesn’t even change his voice while in costume, etc.) but she agrees to keep it a secret if he gives her a job and a place to stay.

Ollie, wanting some answers and deciding he needs to visit his best friend Hal Jordan, tries to buy a bus ticket to Coast City. This offends everyone because Coast City was wiped off the map by a super villain a while ago. Ollie doesn’t know this, and like an amnesia patient excited for his first visit to New York City excitedly talking about seeing the twin towers, makes a fool of himself.

Mia and Stanley Dover hang out at home and discuss Ollie. When he showed up as a homeless crazed man, Stanley took Ollie home for shelter. While he regained his strength under Stanley’s care he kept being freaked out by modern technology. So Stanley replaced all his modern appliances with stuff from thrift shops. This kept Ollie from assuming he was some sort of super villain because of his awesome Dell desktop computer. Mia and Stanley decide that he must have amnesia and be mentally stuck in the past.

Green Arrow tries to keep his mind off all the weird things he’s been noticing in the world by busting up some criminals. When Black Manta arrives and attacks, Ollie is joined by Aquaman (Arthur Curry) who is surprised he isn’t dead but not so much that it feels like he was ready for it to happen at some point (META COMMENTARY ON COMIC BOOK FANS).

What I Learned From This Issue:

There’s a version of Kickball that’s only for the cool kids and nobody ever taught it to me for some strange reason…

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Green Arrow (Vol 3) #2

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #2
Kurt Cobain lives!
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

In Star City, there’s a crazy debauched party. On a Wednesday night no less! Mia Dearden has been sent to this party by her pimp/awful-boyfriend to… uhm… “service” the councilman throwing the party. It’s super gross too because Mia is only 15 years old. This looks like a job for Green Arrow (Ollie Queen)! Or anyone! Please, any decent human being stop this!

Green Arrow stops it.

No longer looking like a half dirty Santa Clause half sea captain, Green Arrow is armed with real deal trick arrows. This doesn’t really fit with his liberal political leanings since the trash arrows were a really great way to recycle, but oh well. He shoots the place up with a bunch of arrows and does his best to convince Mia to no longer be a prostitute.

Back at her apartment, Mia tells her awful boyfriend Richard what happened and that she no longer wants to be a prostitute. Richard tries to somehow play the victim to this and Mia thankfully does not go for that line of reasoning. Realizing he isn’t going to get to have sex with Mia, Richard jumps to the next thing on his to do list which is to kill Mia. Trying to clean up any loose ends with the councilman being busted for drugs and sex with minors he puts a knife to Mia’s throat. Mia is able to fight him off and cuts his hand in a really specific and painful way. She definitely has been thinking about how to do this for a while. Cutting a specific tendon in the hand is not a spur of the moment idea.

Back with Ollie, he’s returned to the house of Stanley Dover, the man he saved from the mugging last issue. Stanley has taken Ollie in and provided him with new costumes and trick arrows (Stanley is conveniently very rich). Ollie jokes about having sex with Stanley a lot. I don’t always understand male relationships. They’re buds.

The two of them talk about Ollie’s missing memories and why he hasn’t tried contacting his friends. It seems Ollie is a little out of the loop because he still thinks Hal Jordan is alive as the Green Lantern and is taking about events which happened years ago like they occurred just the other day.

A news report shows the damage from the Green Arrow’s bust on the councilman and a TV watching Batman recognizes the… bow and arrowing(?) of Ollie’s arrows.

Meanwhile, the Star City Slayer has taken another child and is bleeding him out. He feeds the blood to a caged monster and then leaves. This is a very cheery comic for the children of Star City.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Kevin Smith probably cut his hand real bad one time.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

Green Arrow (Vol 3) #1

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #1
Before every big date, a man will shave his eyeballs just in case things get a little intimate.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Years ago, during the events of The Final Night, Batman (Bruce Wayne) and Superman (Clark Kent) talk about the weather and argue about whether or not Parallax (Hal Jordan) sucks. Batman thinks he sucks. Superman doesn’t. The argument goes on for a while and ends when Superman feels something microscopic be removed from himself but he can’t tell what.

Meanwhile Parallax visits the grave of his best friend: Green Arrow (Ollie Queen).

Back in the present, Arsenal (Roy Harper) is lying in wait to stop a large heroin deal from going down. While waiting he thinks back on Ollie, his adoptive father figure. Ollie taught Roy how to have patience which has helped Roy with his many trials as a hero. Mainly it helped him kick his own heroin habit, which makes stopping this drug deal even more emotional for the guy. Luckily, Roy brought a sandwich with him to help him resist the cravings for some smack.

Black Canary (Dinah Lance) is also in position for a sting operation. She wonders what makes a good man while remembering all the highs and lows of her and Ollie’s relationship. The biggest low being when he had a child with another woman. She admits she doesn’t think about him that much any more and wonders why he has come back into her thoughts. Then Black Canary beats up a Russian mafia guy and leaves him for the FBI.

At a Buddhist temple, the son of Ollie Queen and the current Green Arrow (Connor Hawke) is trying to find peace after failing to connect with his dead father through taking up his mantle. He feels pretty silly about running around being a super hero which immediately makes him more mature than 90 percent of the characters in comic books. He farms at the temple, but likes to do it dangerously with his bow and arrow for no reason.

Back in Star City, crime has gotten worse and Stanley Dover is about to be mugged and left for dead when a homeless Ollie Queen saves him with homemade trash arrows. It’s pretty yucky.

What I learned from this comic:

A smart super hero brings a lunch and fountain drink to the drug sting.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck