Green Arrow (Vol 3) #4

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #4
Figures the one day Aquaman didn’t have time to touch up his gray would be the day of an impromptu photo shoot.
From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) and Aquaman (Arthur Curry) are in combat with Black Manta. Aquaman is super surprised that Green Arrow is alive (because he was not the last time anyone checked) but manages to keep his cool about the whole thing. He’s also pretty focused on his arch enemy, Black Manta, and has gotten really stoked about finally killing him. Before he can ram his hook hand through Manta’s chest, Green Arrow stops him with a lasso arrow.

After turning in the criminal to the authorities Aquaman decides he’s going to surprise the rest of the Justice League with Green Arrow’s return and teleports them both to the JLA’s home base on the moon, the Watchtower.

Meanwhile, we learn there is something creepy going on with Green Arrow’s new friend Stanley Dover. He is hiding something from Ollie and the young Mia Dearden.

In another part of the city, the Star City Slayer takes another homeless child from the street. The kid seems to recognize this person and follow him willingly. While this is happening, the caged monster we’ve been seeing in shadows is mourning the absence of his friend.

Wonder Woman (Diana of Themyscira), The Flash (Wally West), and Martian Manhunter (J’onn J’onnz) are the first to arrive at the Watchtower after Aquaman’s summons and are pretty crabby about it. You’d think their lifestyles didn’t ever call upon them needing to come quickly to important events with their attitudes. Also, The Flash is worried that his wife might think he’s having an affair. Why would Linda Park think her husband, The Flash, would be having an affair because he gets a call to go to the Watchtower? That probably happens every night. Maybe work on your marriage a little there, Wally. It doesn’t stop at the wedding! It’s an ongoing project!

Anyway, after some awkward crowd work (Isn’t Aquaman supposed to be a king who gives speeches and stuff?) Aquaman introduces Ollie. Everyone is surprised, but not really because super heroes come back all the time. Then Wonder Woman kisses Ollie for no reason because she’s a feminist icon and Kevin Smith is a master writer (Buh.).

Green Arrow is confused though. He doesn’t know why Wally is wearing Barry Allen’s old costume. And he doesn’t understand where his best friend Hal went. Or why Kyle Rayner is dressed like the Green Lantern. Or why Superman (Clark Kent) hugs him like they haven’t seen each other in years. Finally when he sees a photo of the Justice League with a boy he’s never seen before (Connor Hawke) dressed as Green Arrow he decides the team has gone crazy and is replacing all its members with more impressionable children. He points an arrow at the Watchtower’s glass window and threatens to blow a hole into the outer space outside.

Before Green Arrow can kill all his friends because he’s mad about work politics Batman (Bruce Wayne) knocks him out. Batman takes his unconscious body with him back to the Batcave.

Back on Earth, Oracle (Barbara Gordon) contacts the Black Canary (Dinah Lance) and tells her about the news report of her dead ex-boyfriend Ollie Queen fighting Black Manta.

What I Learned From this Comic:

Never invite Wonder Woman to a meeting she doesn’t need to sit in on.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

JLA #7

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #7
Perspectives be damned!
From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

The evil angel Asmodel is attacking the city of San Francisco in order to lure out Zauriel. Zauriel is an angel who requested mortality and fell to Earth. He also knows about Asmodel’s secret plot to try to finish what Lucifer started and rebel against “The Creator”.

This is weird on many levels. First, why wouldn’t Zauriel let someone know about the secret plot? At least do it before requesting to become a mortal. It’s kind of a really big thing to space on. Keep a todo list man, try to get stuff done everyday!

Second, wouldn’t the creator know about the secret plan the second one of his angels starts attacking earth and almost killing everyone in a city? Does he need everything fed to him through email or something? And which case, why not send him that email? This is what happens when organizations get too big! Who is responsible for sending the creator of the universe the email which lets him know one of his angels is trying to destroy San Francisco?

Probably that new guy Dean.

In other news, the demon Neron is trying to crash the moon into the Earth. Superman is pretty preoccupied with trying to stop this from happening so he cannot help with the evil angels juuuust yet. Superman sets up a neat science fair project which uses his new electrical powers to magnetize the moon and push it away from the Earth.

Flash manages to free himself from being stuck between teleports by vibrating really good. IT’S HOW FLASH SOLVES ALL HIS PROBLEMS.

The Justice League, sans Superman, battle the evil angels. Well, everyone but Aquaman. He’s given the dumb job of saving people stuck in rubble. Wonder Woman and Zauriel manage to break into Asmodel’s ship and destroy his force field keeping anyone from outside the city interfering.

Superman, now with all the free time in the world shows up to battle Asmodel. Just in time too, since it was The Martian Manhunter keeping the evil Angel busy and he is looking pretty grim after a few rounds.

The Flash and Green Lantern decide to be the change they want to see in the world and build a machine which turns Flash’s vibrating into a noise. It’s a noise which is just the right frequency to stop Angels from existing in our reality. The Flash then VIBRATES REAL GOOD (See?!) and all the evil angels are sent back home.

The Justice League return to their moon base, The Watchtower, only to be ambushed by The Key. The Key was the man in the coma from previous issues and woke up after hearing The Justice League’s name. He’s now super powerful and ready to kick the Justice League-rs around!

Back on earth we find out why Zauriel wanted to be a human: to creep on a girl!

What I Learned From This Comic:

Superman beat up an angel.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz

A Justice League Too Many – JLA #1

The cover to JLA 1
I guess Batman’s straightedge under that cape?

From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

The President of the United States is acting like a bipolar during a mania period. He is not ready to handle a close encounter with alien superheroes. Alien superheroes show up despite this. They are called Hyperclan and they tell everyone that they’re here to fix all the world’s problems. The people of the world are really stoked that all the world’s problems are going to be handled.

Meanwhile, Superman (Clark Kent) makes sure everyone knows that problems are hard to fix and maybe superheroes from space aren’t the ones to do this. The public decides Hyperclan’s leader Protex are too shiny and pretty to be lying. It’s pretty much decided Superman is just butt-hurt that everyone now cares about these new superheroes more than him.

Superman’s concerns are sort of validated when Hyperclan starts killing unnamed villains who are clearly, actually Marvel Comics characters. When this creates a large drop in super villain crime, the public doesn’t see the problem with it.

Up in the satellite base of the Justice League, The Watchtower, the old team is packing up their stuff. They got fired for not being characters your Dad knows so they’re preparing the Watchtower for the new Justice League. They get really scared when a bunch of people dressed up like the X-Men character Juggernaut start attacking them. This seems a little weird since they were protecting the entire planet the day before but now they’re cracking under the pressure. Anyway, luckily Green Lantern and Wonder Woman are there and protect the old Justice League as they retreat inside Metamorpho’s weird shape-changing body.

Being a weird-body-bullet-with-a-face-in-outer-space is too much for Metamorpho though. The rest of the old Justice League survives the trip back to earth but they wake up in a gooey pile of their teammate.

Hyperclan is next seen digging something up they had buried on Earth a long time ago.

Superman thinks the dudes who attacked the Watchtower were actually Hyperclan. The new Justice League gathers to decide their next step. Then Batman (Bruce Wayne) shows up like a creep, shows off in a very passive aggressive way, and declares war.

What I Learned From This Comic
Grant Morrison has zero time for B-list super heroes. Get out of the way for the big dogs!

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz