The Final Night #4

The cover to The Final Night #4
A tiny little drop of pee on Parallax’s pants… But nobody tell him! He’d be too embarrassed after posing dramatically like that in the sun.
From Series: The Final Night

What Happened:

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) is bummed he wasn’t able to finagle the disgraced Green Lantern, Parallax (Hal Jordan), into helping the Earth. The Earth’s sun has been taken over by a being known as the Sun-Eater. Humanity’s prospects have only gotten worse with the recent discovery of the sun’s upcoming explosion.

So the heroes have joined together for a last ditch attempt at killing the Sun-Eater. Lex Luthor has made all the super speedsters into his own sweat shop and created many small force field devices. Since he has already survived flying into the sun, the plan is to have Green Lantern fly a ship with these devices and surround the doomed sun with them. The explosion of the sun will give the devices power which will then turn the damage away from the earth and back to the Sun-Eater and hopefully kill it. We won’t have a sun anymore but that is what space heaters are for.

Green Lantern is ready to go when he suddenly vanishes. The heroes don’t even have TIME to question this so Superman (Clark Kent) immediately volunteers. Superman hopes the explosion will restart his powers, which have been absent since the sun went away, but just in case he writes a suicide note for Lois Lane.

Final Night all-star, MVP, Hall of Famer character Ferro steals the ship before Superman can board. He’s ready to sacrifice himself because Superman means too much to too many people so he can’t risk his death.

Everyone’s pretty annoyed by then but then Parallax shows up with Green Lantern ready to help out. Superman is 100% ready for Parallax to take the ball with this one. Batman (Bruce Wayne) is more skeptical since the last time they saw Parallax he was trying to bend all of time and space to his will. Cooler heads prevail and the mad cosmic demi-god is allowed to go into space and play with the sun.

Ferro’s attempt at stopping the explosion fails when the explosion happens faster than they thought it would. Not his fault. Kind of makes all the people putting this plan together look bad for all their horsing around, frankly!

His butt’s saved by Parallax. He sends Ferro back to Earth and then recites the Green Lantern oath while reigniting the sun and absorbing the sun-eater. This final act kills him off panel.

Back on Earth Batman tells Superman that Hal Jordan still sucks and swings away.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Super heroes are a little too trigger happy with their own noble sacrifices.

The Creators:
Writer: Karl Kesel
Penciller: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Jose Marzan, Jr.
Colorist: Patricia Mulvihill
Letterer: Gaspar Saladino
Editor: Dan Thorsland
Assistant Editor: Ali Morales

Parallax: Emerald Knight #1

The cover to Parallax: Emerald Night #1
Black Hole Sun? No thanks. This old man ain’t listening to no Soundgarden.

What Happened:

Disgraced former Green Lantern, now calling himself Parallax, Hal Jordan has tracked down Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman is the last remaining culprit of the destruction of Jordan’s hometown Coast City. He also has the worst name and most apt name. So Jordan is pretty stinking mad at him. Especially since Jordan is now evil.

As they battle, Jordan realizes that Cyborg Superman can’t be killed or imprisoned by conventional means. So he pushes the big galoot into the source wall. Many more powerful beings have tried to pass through the source wall only to be stuck for eternity for thinking they were too big for their britches. Cyborg Superman gets stuck real good in a living death which satisfies Jordan’s need for revenge.

The current Green Lantern Kyle Rayner shows up. He’s got some bad news from Earth. It’s about to be blown up by the sun. Rayner has come to Jordan for help but Jordan’s not convinced. He’s had a pretty good run at being a bad guy so far. Killed and hurt a lot of his friends… almost recreated all of reality in his image… pushed a robot dude into a space wall. Yeah! Things are looking great, why mess with what’s not broken?

Jordan still considers helping though. He decides to do some investigating to see if being a hero again is worth it. He returns to earth, which has gone dark thanks to the Sun-Eater slowly gobbling up our sun. He visits former Green Lantern Guy Gardner and gets yelled at.

Then he visits another former Green Lantern John Stewart who has been paralyzed from the waist down. Jordan makes it so Stewart can walk again! He then gets yelled at.

He visits his old plane mechanic friend Tom Kalmaku. He still thinks Jordan is great! At this point Jordan probably feels too weird about not getting yelled at so he bounces before saying goodbye.

He then visits his ex-Girlfriend Carol Ferris and gets a kiss. (The romantic way to be yelled at.)

Next he visits the grave of Green Arrow, Ollie Queen. Doesn’t get yelled at. No kiss. Nuts.

Jordan’s last stop is at ground zero of the remains of Coast City. The event which led him to become the villain he is today finally convinces him to sacrifice himself to save the Earth. He lets everyone know Hal Jordan has returned as a hero.

What I Learned From This Issue:

Green Lanterns aren’t allowed to have noses.

The Creators:
Writer: Ron Marz
Penciler: Mike McKone
Inker: Mark McKenna
Colorist: John Kalisz
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Kevin Dooley
, Eddie Berganza

The Final Night #3

The cover to The Final Night #3
Oh wow! From up here you all look like ants! Gooey, blobby ants!
From Series: The Final Night

What Happened:

Warrior’s bar has become a headquarters for all the super heroes doing rescue work and patrolling. A lot of people are not handling the idea that a horrible space cloud is trying to eat their sun. People are cold and upset by all this and are starting to lash out, forcing the super heroes to protect everyone from each other. A part time babysitting job! Well, at least the super heroes don’t have anything else more important to do.

Warrior, a dude with the power to turn his hands into weapons, used to be a Green Lantern. He’s pretty frustrated he no longer has the powers of the Green Lanterns because that would be pretty useful when dealing with a sun-eater. There are only so many walls to needlessly blow up with his gun-hands after all!

Meanwhile, back in the science labs all the science-y people have realized the sun is going to blow up. Real soon. Too soon. There isn’t much anyone can do about it so a decision is made to not release this information to the public in order to prevent a panic. Superman, powerless because of the lack of sunlight, returns home to Smallville to visit his mom and dad before what most superheros are accepting to be the end of the world.

Dusk is getting ready to skedaddle. She’s done her job trying to warn the planet of the coming danger but failed yet again to save any lives. She hopes her next destination on the Sun-Eater’s path of gobbled up stars will be more productive. The Phantom Stranger shows up and starts to guilt Dusk about leaving the party early. “We were JUST going to start the dancing mix. Whadder you doin’?”

Still, Dusk is confident with the world’s approaching doom the people of the planet are going to start getting real dark. Phantom Stranger decides to play the Ghost of Christmas Present and gives Dusk a world wide tour on how human beings are not jerks.

Elsewhere, well-known jerk The Warrior is alone in his bar. When he sees a familiar green glow coming from his old Green Lantern costume on display.

What I Learned From This Comic:

The Warrior no longer owns a stuffed Tauntaun.

The Creators:
Writer: Karl Kesel
Penciller: Stuart Immonen
Inker: Jose Marzan, Jr.
Colorist: Patricia Mulvihill
Letterer: Gaspar Saladino
Editor: Dan Thorsland
Assistant Editor: Ali Morales

Who Is The Best At Robots? – JLA #5

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #5
Personal space bubble, Plastic Man! Personal space bubble!
From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

The JLA is having a recruitment drive to build up their new roster. So they have a bit of a talent show! Steel, Hitman, Max Mercury, Green Arrow, Aztek, Artemis, Plastic Man, Warrior, and Damage all show up. Most of them are either too much of a weirdo or were never really into the idea of being on the team anyway.

The only people being considered for the team are Green Arrow and Aztek. The Justice Legaue is pretty down about the lack of great heroes when suddenly Tomorrow Woman arrives in time to save everyone from debris with her telekinetic powers. She is on the team immediately!

Everything seems to be going great with Tomorrow Woman. Everyone on the team likes her and she helps out with the League’s ongoing investigation on a new destructive force called “IF”. But wait!… she is actually a robot! A robot created by villains Professor Ivo and Professor T.O. Morrow! A robot with a built in electromagnetic device which will wipe the brains of the Justice League. That doesn’t seem great at all!

Ivo and Morrow have a great time bro-ing out with some champagne while their robot gains the Justice League’s trust. Meanwhile, the Justice League learns mid-battle with it, that IF is a weapon. They figure the only way to turn off this weapon is, coincidentally, an electromagnetic pulse.

Tomorrow Woman knows that her programming is pushing her towards killing the Justice League but she doesn’t want to do it. So, Tomorrow Woman flies into IF and uses the electromagnetic pulse to save her teammates and sacrifice herself.

Morrow thinks this is great. He brags that this proves he is better at making robots because he can build “souls” into his robots. Ivo is less delighted that the plan didn’t work but admits Morrow is pretty good at robots. Gamepoint: Morrow.

Then the Justice League throw them in jail. Gamepoint: Justice League.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Don’t invite Hitman to anything, ever.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz