Ollie Goes To Heaven – Green Arrow (Vol 3) #7

The cover to Green Arrow (Vol 3) #7
Using arrows to solve all your problems is getting a little ridiculous, Ollie.

From Series: Green Arrow (Vol 3)

What Happened:

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) is sort of dead. ONLY SORT OF. When Etrigan killed him after Jason Blood realized the resurrected Ollie was a hollow (a body without a soul) Hal Jordan was able to save him just in time. Hal is one of Ollie’s best friends and used to be The Green Lantern, but these days he’s paying back a penance by fulfilling the role of the spirit of vengeance: The Spectre.

After some very showy flair from Hal, Ollie punches him in the fact mostly because Ollie is confused by EVERYTHING these days. Ollie’s memory stops decades ago because of a complication with his resurrection and now he doesn’t remember Hal dying, or Hal turning evil, or any of the other wacky fun of the 90’s. Thus, punching a demigod like The Spectre in the face is probably not too crazy of an action considering where he’s at right now.

Hal takes Ollie on a tour of the afterlife and does his best to explain how he came back to life. It seems, one of Hal’s last acts as the evil Parallax was to bring Ollie back using a microscopic trace of him left on Superman (Clark Kent)‘s uniform from YEARS AGO.

The decision to leave this revived version of Ollie without some memories was done by a mysterious source who Hal is keeping secret. So NO SPOILERS OK!?

It’s Ollie.

Anyway, Ollie and Hal run into The Flash (Barry Allen), Deadman (Boston Brand), Robin (Jason Todd), and The Phantom Stranger in heaven, all of whom drop mountain sized hints that there are now two Ollie’s in heaven. Hollow Ollie would rather frown at people and want to punch them for being different than he remembers instead of pick up on these clues.

Then they go to a field and find an older version of Ollie (SURPRISE!!!) shooting archery. What. Is. Going. ON.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Superman is pretty gross.

The Creators:
Writers: Kevin Smith
Pencilers: Phil Hester
Inkers: Ande Parks
Colourists: Guy Major
Letterers: Sean Konot
Cover Artists: Matt Wagner
Executive Editor: Mike Carlin
Editors: Michael Wright, Bob Schreck

JLA #7

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #7
Perspectives be damned!
From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

The evil angel Asmodel is attacking the city of San Francisco in order to lure out Zauriel. Zauriel is an angel who requested mortality and fell to Earth. He also knows about Asmodel’s secret plot to try to finish what Lucifer started and rebel against “The Creator”.

This is weird on many levels. First, why wouldn’t Zauriel let someone know about the secret plot? At least do it before requesting to become a mortal. It’s kind of a really big thing to space on. Keep a todo list man, try to get stuff done everyday!

Second, wouldn’t the creator know about the secret plan the second one of his angels starts attacking earth and almost killing everyone in a city? Does he need everything fed to him through email or something? And which case, why not send him that email? This is what happens when organizations get too big! Who is responsible for sending the creator of the universe the email which lets him know one of his angels is trying to destroy San Francisco?

Probably that new guy Dean.

In other news, the demon Neron is trying to crash the moon into the Earth. Superman is pretty preoccupied with trying to stop this from happening so he cannot help with the evil angels juuuust yet. Superman sets up a neat science fair project which uses his new electrical powers to magnetize the moon and push it away from the Earth.

Flash manages to free himself from being stuck between teleports by vibrating really good. IT’S HOW FLASH SOLVES ALL HIS PROBLEMS.

The Justice League, sans Superman, battle the evil angels. Well, everyone but Aquaman. He’s given the dumb job of saving people stuck in rubble. Wonder Woman and Zauriel manage to break into Asmodel’s ship and destroy his force field keeping anyone from outside the city interfering.

Superman, now with all the free time in the world shows up to battle Asmodel. Just in time too, since it was The Martian Manhunter keeping the evil Angel busy and he is looking pretty grim after a few rounds.

The Flash and Green Lantern decide to be the change they want to see in the world and build a machine which turns Flash’s vibrating into a noise. It’s a noise which is just the right frequency to stop Angels from existing in our reality. The Flash then VIBRATES REAL GOOD (See?!) and all the evil angels are sent back home.

The Justice League return to their moon base, The Watchtower, only to be ambushed by The Key. The Key was the man in the coma from previous issues and woke up after hearing The Justice League’s name. He’s now super powerful and ready to kick the Justice League-rs around!

Back on earth we find out why Zauriel wanted to be a human: to creep on a girl!

What I Learned From This Comic:

Superman beat up an angel.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz

The Justice League vs. Christianity – JLA #6

The cover to JLA (Vol 1) #6
This is the face of alcoholism.

From Series: JLA (Vol 1)

What Happened:

Two nurses are being really 1990’s-sassy to each other while taking care of a coma patient. They see a shooting star and make wishes about Tom Cruise or trips to Jamaica or something. Unknown to them though, that wasn’t a shooting star! That was a gosh darn angel falling to earth!

Superman and Flash are on the JLA’s watchtower moon base complaining about being role models. They are interrupted by Green Lantern requesting assistance scoping out whatever just crashed to Earth. Flash runs to the teleporter but finds it booby-trapped by the demon Neron and gets stuck in the machine’s energies.

Back on Earth, Martian Manhunter is the first to approach the fallen angel, who he learns is named Zauriel when they are both attacked by more angels. Get used to the word “angel”! It’s going to happen a lot in this one! These new angels are sent by someone named Asmodel and want Zauriel captured: dead or alive.

They seem evil, so we’re going to call them “evil angels” from here on out.

Wonder Woman and Aquaman are dealing with something a lot cooler in Japan. Giant robots with Japanese pop culture names! So dumb! So cool! The whole story should be about this! Unfortunately they get called away to deal with the angel nonsense. Also, it sort of seems like Aquaman just drowned a dude?

Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman quickly deal with the evil angels attacking Zauriel. Wonder Woman is creeped on somehow by Zauriel, who we have already established is an angel. Aquaman mistakes Zauriel for the deceased Hawkman for a beat. Everything’s going great until the evil angels’ ship starts coming into our dimension. Zauriel warns the team that should it come all the way, the complete brain-warp that is an angel ship from another dimension will instantly kill everyone on the planet.

They need Superman’s help. Superman can’t help.

Neron and his demons are pulling the moon down towards Earth. So Superman has that subplot to deal with.

The JLA and Zauriel brace themselves for the upcoming fight with the evil angels.

What I Learned From This Comic:

Angels don’t grant wishes.

The Creators:
Writer: Grant Morrison
Pencils: Howard Porter
Inker: John Dell
Colorist: Pat Garrahy
Separations: Heroic Age
Letterer: Ken Lopez
Editor: Ruben Diaz